All You Mama

265 – If moms ruled the world

Thank you so much for taking this week to celebrate with me, as well as listen to some of the top podcasts of the past year, I can’t wait to see the next podcasts that come out in the next year, and how they help you and help you live a better life that you love as you and mom!. Being a mom is powerful and it also comes with a lot of responsibility. And it is my true belief that moms really hold the key to changing the world, we have so much influence, and so much to give. But at the same time, you need to take care of yourself, and give yourself what you need in order to give. Because if you don’t have those resources, if you don’t have the energy, you can’t give your kids and other people that depend on you that energy. If you don’t have money, and you want to donate to great causes, then you can’t donate because you don’t already have those resources first. So in order for us to really change the world, we’ve got to start with ourselves. And we’ve got to start taking care of ourselves too. And Mama’s Daily Dose is… Episode 03 – If Mamas ruled the world. Let’s get moving, before we get interrupted.

I just want you to imagine for a moment, if moms really ruled the world, I mean, it would really be a much more caring, loving, far more organized, and just straight up efficient world. I mean, if you need something to get done, just ask a mom and you know it will get done. But what happens is, is so many moms are being held back by fear, and guilt, and possible judgment, that they’re not giving all that they can to the world. So we have so much to give. And first and foremost you do need to give to yourself. And then second, giving to your children and your family. And then that has a ripple effect. Right. And you can go beyond and affect the lives of other people and make the world a better place. The better you are, and the more successful you are, the more successful your children will be, and your grandchildren, and so on. So the more we keep raising the bar, the better the world is going to be. Moms have so much power. I mean, you’re probably the main decision maker in your family, right? Whether you’re a stay at home mom, a working mom, whatever kind of mom you are a part time whatever it is, moms hold a lot of the power. So let’s start using that power for good. And see how we can change the world.

Mama, your action today is to think about something that you want to impart on your children or someone in your family or your friends something that you want to give or leave behind. And then I want you to give it to yourself first. Remember you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of everyone else. We have to give to ourselves in order for us to give to the world and really change the world to because we do have that power. I truly believe we do. And it starts with you. And it starts with taking care of you. Have a fabulous weekend. I will see you on Monday. And as always have a great day free of mama guilt because you deserve it.

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Mama’s Daily Dose

Meghan Q Barrett is Mom Success Coach and Connector who helps mamas create a life they love as “mom” AND an individual without the mom guilt. She connects mamas from all around the world so you can share your stories in a safe, supportive space.

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264 – Who are you for YOURSELF?

Mama, this is one of my personal favorite podcasts. And it is inspired by a TikTok video. And I apologize, but the original link does not work and I can’t find the original video, but you’ll get the gist of it from listening to the podcast as well. In the TikTok video, he brings up a great question to not only ask yourself, but to ask others. When we are moms, especially of young children, we are stuck to our roles. And we’re trying to fit in these boxes, these mom boxes like I’m a stay at home mom, I’m an entrepreneur Mom, I’m a working mom. And then there’s all these details under each of those that you’re supposed to hit. But what happens when you don’t fit in that box, when you don’t feel that way? Or you don’t feel like you have your own identity? Because you are trying to fit in these roles and titles. And Mama’s Daily Dose is… Episode 26 – Who are you for yourself? Let’s get moving before we get interrupted.

So there’s this new video that’s come out it’s gone quite viral on Tik Tok from @the_holistic_mystic and I’ll link it in the show notes as well. But basically, it’s asked the question, “What is that flip of the switch moment that changed your life?” And he goes on to say, you know, he just he wants to be a better person, he wants to be a better employee, a better husband, a better father, a better friend. And his therapist then says to him, “an employee is someone you are for your employer, a husband is someone you are for your wife, a father is someone you are for your son, and a friend is someone you are for a friend, who are you for yourself, who are you outside of those roles?”

And I don’t know about y’all, but that hits deep. For me, I’m a person that always says you don’t need to be everything for everyone, but you need to be something for yourself. But when we go to describe ourselves, you know, it’s like, oh, I’m Anderson and Saxon’s Mom, I’m a wife to Tyler. And these are all roles that I am for other people. And while they are great roles, and they are a part of me, that’s not who I am. So who is Meghan outside of these roles. And at nearly 35 years old, in a couple of weeks, I feel like I’m now just taking those steps to really figure this out of who I am outside of these roles. Because I feel like through life, we are so defined by our roles. You know, you’re a sister, a daughter, a student, a doctor, a marketer, whatever it is that your job title is… a mom, that is the biggest defining one for us with small children. I feel like this year I’m getting into that groove of defining and creating who I am outside of these roles. And that is exactly why I started All You Mama and this podcast, so that I can give what I have to others and have a role that I’ve created for myself. So on this lovely Monday, take a think about who are you for yourself? Who are you outside of all those roles and titles that you hold?

Mama, your action today is to think about who are you for yourself? What are you doing for you not for one of your roles and titles, but for you? What is it that you enjoy? Who is it that you want to be? What is the mark that you want to leave on this world? What is the mark that you want to leave for your kids? Think about that today…it’s a deep one, I know. Tomorrow we have our last replay of the One Year Celebration week and it’s all about how moms can rule the world. I’ll see you tomorrow and have a great day free of mama guilt because you deserve it.

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263 – You’re going to get kicked in the balls

We are continuing the week of the top podcasts of the past year, in honor of the celebration of one year of Mama’s Daily Dose Podcast. And today’s episode is a replay of a bit of a funny one that brought me some laughter; but also, I felt for my husband a little bit. And Mama’s Daily Dose is… Episode 85 – You’re going to get kicked in the balls. Let’s get moving before we get interrupted.

My husband came home one day talking about a podcast he had listened to called Chasing Excellence by Ben Bergeron who comes from the CrossFit world. But he gets a little bit deeper on mindset and, you know, just life in general. And he was talking about how he was asked this question about, you know, “what is something that they never tell you about parenting that you discovered?” And you think Ben’s going to get into something super deep, because, you know, that’s kind of the guy that he is, he’s very introspective. And he said, “When you become a dad, nobody talks about how many times you’re going to get kicked in the balls, about how often it happens that you get kicked in the balls.” And Tyler was like, “Yeah, I mean, before I had kids, it happened, you know, rarely, maybe a handful of times in his life.” And since becoming a dad, it is much more often than not.

And surprisingly, or not surprisingly, later that day, Anderson, my four year old had taken a nap. And he just woke up so so grumpy. And I don’t know why. But he locked eyes with Tyler and just gave him this look. And like a bulll, went straight for him and just knocked straight in Tyler’s balls and he fell to the ground. And just another example of when you become a dad, you’re gonna get kicked in the balls. And it’s going to happen a lot more often than you think. While I don’t know what it feels like to get kicked in the nuts; I do have an idea of pain from my genitals. So I do feel for all the dads out there that constantly get kicked in the balls.

Mama, your action today is to think about the question, “What is something about parenting that you didn’t know until you became a parent?” You can prepare all you want. You can read all the books, talk to all the parents. Look at all the experts Instagrams and there are still unknowns, in parenting in mothering that you just don’t figure out until you’re there. And I would love to hear some of your answers so be sure to share them with me on Instagram at @MeghanQBarrett and that is Megan with an H and we’ll be back tomorrow with another top played episode of the past year and have a great day free of mama guilt because you deserve it.

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262 – 1 Year Celebration: It’s All YOU, Mama!

It is officially one year of Mama’s Daily Dose Podcast! On June 7 2021, the first podcast was posted and put out into the podcast world for moms everywhere to listen to. And Mama’s Daily Dose is the very first Daily Dose of all – 01 It’s all you, Mama! Let’s get moving before we get interrupted.

All You Mama is not only Mama’s Daily Dose, but the name of my company. And I went with this name for two reasons. And there’s also a really funny story about the mama part, but we’ll save that for another podcast. So the first meaning is, is that everything you need is already within you. All of it. Anything that you want to do, you absolutely can. At this point in time, you may have no flippin idea how you’re going to do it. But you can do it. Everything you need, is within you already. And the other part means, is that it’s all up to you. So ultimately, you are responsible for your life. You’re responsible for your future, your feelings, your emotions, and how you see yourself in the world. Adulting can be hard, I get it. And it can be a bit daunting, knowing that you have all that responsibility. But it’s also extremely freeing, knowing that if you want to make a change that you can, and you have the power to make that change. It’s all you, Mama.

Mama, your action today is to think about the two sides of the it’s all you mama. To think about that really all the answers that you need are within yourself, you know so much about you, there is no one else in the world that knows more about you than you. But at the same time, it’s a little scary that your life, how you live, how you feel; that is all up to you too. So today I want you to focus on something small, what is something that you have wanted to do or feel for a while and I want you to take one step towards that. If you have just been kind of down lately and are like I really just want to feel joy, tell yourself I feel joyful, I feel joyful and go exude that for yourself and everyone else that you encounter. Take those small steps because something is always more than nothing. And have a great day free of mama guilt because you deserve it.

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261 – The Secret to achieving your 2022 Goal

It is the one year celebration of Mama’s Daily Dose. This podcast has been coming out Monday through Friday, for one whole year, 365 days, and we are celebrating all this week. First, we are celebrating you. So thank you so much for tuning in. I really appreciate the support, and hope this podcast and actions have helped you feel more connected, and have helped you on your journey as a mom to go after what you want. Because mama, you really deserve it. And this week, we are going over the top podcasts of the past year. And today’s replay was not only a super popular podcast of this past year, but it’s a great time to revisit your goals. Because starting in July, the very beginning of July marks halfway through the year 2022. So it is a great time to take a look back now on the goals that you set for this year. And where are you right now? And where do you want to be. And be sure to listen to the whole podcast because at the end, I am giving you the formula on how to write down your goal so that you do really feel it and you have that emotional drive behind your goal that you really need in order to achieve it. And Mama’s Daily Dose is… Episode 150 The secret to achieving your 2022 goal. Let’s get moving. Before we get interrupted

You know the drill mama, you’re super excited in January, like I got this goal, I’m gonna do it, it’s happening. And then life sets in, things get tough, you slip into bad habits. And before you know it, you’ve just quit your goal. And every time you try to set that goal again, it just gets harder and harder. So how do those 7% of people that set new year’s resolutions or goals actually achieve their goals?

They do it by setting clear goals that they are passionate about, like they have this driving, feeling that they have to achieve that goal. There’s no other way. There’s no quitting, because they feel so much for that goal. And they really truly believe that they will achieve that goal. There’s no Plan B, their plan A is happening. And it’s going to happen. So when you look at your goal for 2022, do you really feel it like are you like this is happening I am doing it, I really believe in myself and there’s there’s no quitting it’s going to happen! I know it. If you don’t. If you don’t feel that way about your goal, you’re gonna quit.

Mama your action today is to revisit your 2022 goal and how you wrote it and how you feel about it. Because if you don’t feel for that goal, you’re probably like about 80% of the people out there that have not achieved their goal yet or not well on their way to achieving their goal. So here’s what I want you to do, I want you to grab a pen. And this is how you’re going to write your goal down. And yes, you’re going to write it down and write it down every day. Because if you write your goal down every day, you are 40% more likely to achieve it that that goal has feeling to it, you’re even more likely to achieve it.

So here’s how you’re going to write it you’re going to write I am so blank, (how are you feeling) that I (achieved your goa)l by (x date), because (your why). It looks something like this instead of I weigh 140 pounds by December 2022. It is I am so proud and grateful that I am healthy and weigh 145 pounds by December 2022 because I am a healthy example for my kids and I have the energy to run around with them. Now I don’t know about you, but that second one gets me a lot little bit more fired up than just, I weigh 140 pounds. This will all be written down in the show notes too if you need to revisit it. But if you don’t do any other actions that I’ve said in the past year that this podcast has been around, do this one today and have a great day free of mama guilt because you deserve it.

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260 – This can help your mom anxiety

It is Friday, my mama friends and we are wrapping up May… even though I know that it is June. And starting next week, we are starting the one year Mama’s Daily Dose podcast celebration! So get excited for the years top podcasts to relisten to! Because you know what, you learn a lot more with repetition and hearing it again, you may learn something new about you or the world around you that you didn’t hear the first time. To wrap up the month on Moms’ Mental Health: Mama’s Daily Dose is… what helped the most with postpartum anxiety. Let’s get moving before we get interrupted.

Postpartum anxiety, anxiety, postpartum depression, mood disorders look different in everyone. And I’m going to share what I feel helped the most for me, and what can help others too. And there are all stages of help. Like I went on medication, I saw a therapist, I started meditating. So there were a lot of moving parts in my healing journey. But what I felt really helped me the most, was sharing my story. And connecting with other moms, knowing that other moms had gone through it before that they are going through it with me right now that they are on their healing journey to and that other moms will go through it as well, knowing that I’m not alone in my journey.

And for the first nine months of having postpartum anxiety, I didn’t share it. I felt so shamed. And often when you keep your story to yourself, it feels like shame. And as soon as I was able to share it, that shame cloud was lifted. And I didn’t feel like it was such a burden anymore. I felt like I could really change; that there was more out there for me. And hearing more moms’ stories about what they went through, how they came out of it, what they’re doing now, what they’re still struggling with; helped me to heal more too. Sharing our stories is what connects all of us. You have a story to share, you have a story that’s going to help you and help other people down the road. Share your stories, help yourself heal, and help everyone else heal as well.

Mama, your action today is to share a story. We’ve done it before. And if you missed that action, now is your sign to do it. And if you already shared, share it again, keep sharing, you will be amazed at how many people have similar journeys to yours and how just sharing will help them as well. Everyone’s journey and experiences are a little bit different. But when we find those similarities and create that connection, that is where some real healing begins. So share your story today: text a friend, call a friend, find someone new, share on a Facebook group share on social media, however you feel comfortable sharing your story at this time, right now. Write it down, just writing it out and sharing it that way even if you’re not sharing it with other people is part of healing as well. And be sure to tune in next week for our one year celebration of Mama’s Daily Dose podcast! I can’t wait to replay these top episodes. Some of them are my absolute favorite too! Have a great weekend and a great day free of mama guilt because you deserve it.

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259 – “Anxiety is a desire for what one dreads.”

We are bringing it way back this quote Thursday to a 19th century philosopher Soren Kierkegaard. And Mama’s Daily Dose is… a quote from Kierkegaard, “Anxiety is a desire for what one dreads.” Let’s get moving before we get interrupted.

This is such an interesting definition of anxiety, because you wouldn’t think that a definition of anxiety would include the word “desire.” But what Kierkegaard says is, “anxiety is a desire for what one dreads.” And the reason it is a desire is because anxiety gives us this illusion of control.

I think it is important to point out the difference between fear and anxiety in this definition, where fear is a real emotional reaction to a specific real danger. Whereas anxiety is a feeling of worry or nervousness, usually about something that is imminent or has an uncertain outcome. So basically, let’s think of a lion. A fear would be you are on a safari in Africa, and you come face to face with a lion, you are scared. And there is some immediate response that, you either lay down and play dead or you run away. Whereas anxiety would be sitting, watching National Geographic, and a lion comes on the screen, and you start becoming anxious because you think about maybe one day I’m going to go on a safari in Africa and come face to face with a lion, what is going to happen? Where fear is kind of something that we just deal with it is right there, in the present moment. Anxiety gives us this sense of control, anticipate what’s going to happen that we can complete the unknown.

So our brains don’t like things that are half done. We like things to be complete. And so we can go into anxiety, this desire for the unknown, in order to put all those links together and make it a hole, whether it is a hole that we like, or that we dread, and we are afraid of.

Mama, your action today is to sit with the unknown. Let’s not fill that circle completely today. Because in life, there are unknowns. We have a desire to fill that to get rid of the anxiety, which actually then causes more anxiety. I mean, that’s crazy, right? But there are always going to be unknowns in life. And I want you to pick one and sit with that today. And just let it be unknown. I don’t know how it’s gonna go. I don’t know how it’s going to happen. And I am releasing control of that. Because remember, with anxiety comes a sense of control, even if just fleeting for a moment. And if you don’t already please give me a follow on Instagram @MeghanQBarrett and have a great day free of mama guilt because you deserve it.

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258 – Who actually screens moms for mental health?

Happy June Mama. I don’t know about you. But I love summer and June is also super important because it is the one year anniversary of Mama’s Daily Dose. Next week, we will be having a one year celebration. And I will be replaying the top downloaded episodes of year one of Mama’s Daily Dose. And I thank you so much for tuning in and supporting this podcast and giving yourself the time and space to go after what you want. Because really, that is what this podcast is all about empowering moms to go after what they want, and do what makes them feel fulfilled, whatever that is for you. Because it is individual for every single person. And you get to choose what that is. With that said, we’re still sticking with the theme of May a little bit with Moms’ mental health, and Mama’s Daily Dose is… Who screens moms for mental health? Let’s get moving before we get interrupted.

All right. So this is a real gripe of mine, I’m just gonna go ahead and say it out there is that the people that screen moms the most for any kind of postpartum mood disorder is your child’s pediatrician, your child’s doctor! Not your doctor, not someone that is specific to postpartum or to moms or even adults, but your child’s pediatrician. You get screened one time at your six week appointment. And then the rest of the screenings happen at your child’s pediatrician. And I don’t know about you, but that is not really the time I’m wanting to talk about myself and my moods, I am there to find out the health of my baby. I’m already walking in there anxious, making sure that my baby’s okay, my baby may be acting completely normal, but for me going into those appointments, there was still a level of anxiety. Are they going to hit the markers like what’s going on?

It’s not really a time for me to be like, “Hey, mister, or miss pediatrician. I’m actually really not feeling mentally that great. So after you check out my kid, can you let me know like what I should do?” It’s just not realistic to have pediatricians being the main screeners for Moms’ Postpartum Mood Disorders. Because that is not a space where moms feel super comfortable in order to voice their mental concerns. Moms need a space where they feel seen and heard and understood on their level. That is the space for their kids to be seen, heard and understood.

I don’t have the be all to end all solution to this issue. But what I do know is for right now, moms are going to have to take some responsibility for our own experiences, and reach out for the help that we need. There are resources out there right now, there should be far more, and people should be coming to us and asking us and in the future. I really hope that we see that with more postpartum appointments. But right now, a lot of moms are going to have to take that responsibility. But also as a mom, you can take the responsibility and check on other moms as well.

Mama, your action today is to support moms mental health in any way possible. Just go check out Postpartum Support International, and see the tools and the resources that they have. Donate to them. Maybe sign up for a local Climb Out of the Darkness walk that I’m actually doing in Raleigh on June 25. If you want to check it out, that is also through Postpartum Support International. Or just check in with a mom, friend. Anything you can do to support moms mental health right now, today, is going to help in the long run. Because remember, something is always more than nothing. And have a great day free of mom guilt because you deserve it.

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257 – Why some moms and not others?

Hey, it’s Tuesday, it may feel like a Monday. So I just wanted to remind you that it is Tuesday. And it is also the last day of May of Moms’ Mental Health Awareness Month. I’m going to bleed it into June a little bit because it ended midweek. And I like to keep the theme for the week. And one of the things that I find so interesting, and like crazy confusing about moms’ mental health, is that some moms get anxiety and depression and other mood disorders and others don’t. Some get it with one child and not with another. And so what is happening, like what is going on that it isn’t this constant thing? You just you don’t know, if it’s gonna happen to you, you don’t know if it’s gonna happen with this child, or with that child, or if something else will bring it about. And Mama’s Daily Dose is… why some moms and not others?

Right after you have a baby, you go through this time of heightened sensitivities. So your hormones and your brain are all working so that you can take care of this small child. And that is meant to happen. And it is meant to have this emotional heightened anxiety, essentially, for a short period of time and it is meant to wean off. But what happens in some moms is that that heightened awareness never really goes away. And it can manifest into postpartum anxiety and depression. But why does it happen to some moms and not to others?

And part of the answer lays in your past. If you have any past experiences and trauma, that can really affect you postpartum; any dysfunction or early childhood, adversities, PTSD, mental illness, genetic predispositions can cause you to stay in that heightened state postpartum. Which is meant to really help you in that early postpartum stage, but can hurt you later on. If you have any kind of past trauma or experiences, which we all do; trauma comes in all shapes and sizes, just because one person’s trauma is “more” or “worse” than yours doesn’t make your trauma not valid. And what happens is in motherhood, and especially that postpartum stage, a lot of these feelings from the past and experiences and anxieties can come up, and then they stay with you longer.

And that’s one way how postpartum anxiety and depression can bleed, past that postpartum stage. How these feelings after postpartum, the high hormones the brain changes and everything that are supposed to help you can get hindered when our past starts coming in. Know that everyone has a past, and a lot of feelings and emotions are going to come up postpartum and when you’re a mom, and that is normal. So normalizing that it’s not “this was one part of my life” and “this is a new part of my life.” They all come together. And that is the reason why a lot of moms are not able to come out of that postpartum, heightened emotional stage. on

Mama, your action today is to realize that our lives are so intertwined. Just because you brought a new life into this world doesn’t mean that your life is completely anew. There are things from the past that we hold on to whether consciously or subconsciously, that can paint our present, as well as our future. And have a great day free of mama guilt because you deserve it.

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256 – Moms’ Mental Health Matters

Hey mama. This is Mama’s Daily Dose, the short actionable podcast for mamas who want more. I’m Meghan Q Barrett of allyoumama.com. Happy Memorial Day, I hope you are having or had a fabulous weekend. And I hope that we use this day to to really commemorate what Memorial Day is about. And that is about honoring the soldiers that gave the ultimate sacrifice of their lives for our country. And I know as being a part of the CrossFit community, I’ve participated in the hero WOD, Murph for almost 11 years now. And while I’m not directly in a military family, I do have so much respect for those that are, and all of those that will continue to be and those that will in the future. And I want to give a moment of silence to honor those fallen soldiers, as well as their families and friends and everyone that was influenced and affected by them.

Thank you for that moment of silence. And because it’s a holiday, and we’re kind of wrapping up the month of moms’ mental health, we’re not doing a Monday MamAffirmation, I’m mixing it up. Probably a lot of people really aren’t going to listen to this because it is a holiday. So first off, I thank you for listening to this. And Mama’s Daily Dose is… Moms’ Mental Health Matters. Let’s get moving before we get interrupted.

This whole month, we have been talking about moms’ mental health. And I think most people can agree that mom’s Mental Health and the Mental Health and well being of everybody is very important. And there is more research and studies being done on mental health and more resources. And that is great. But there isn’t a ton of research being done on moms’ anxiety, or postpartum anxiety. And I know this because I have looked it up, I have tried to find answers. I have tried to come to conclusions. And the information just isn’t there, the scientific information, the studies are not there. There’s actually more studies on dads’ postpartum depression than there is on moms’ postpartum anxiety. And while I do see a space to research on dads’ postpartum depression, and that dad’s health and mental health is very important too. So is the mental health of moms and anxiety makes up a larger portion of moms than depression, and a larger portion than depression in dads as well.

And most of the research on moms anxiety is the effect on the children instead of the effect on the moms. And as we talked last week, if we don’t focus on what the actual issue is, the anxiety in the moms, then how is she supposed to get the resources and make the changes that she needs to in order to impact her children. So when we’re just focusing on the impact on the kids, we’re missing that main player there, that is the mom. Moms’ Mental Health Matters – talking about mental health and moms’ mental health is going to help bring this to light. The more we talk about it, the more we share, the more change we can see on larger levels.

Mama, your action today is to think about one thing that really matters to you. What really gets you revved up and passionate and maybe a little bit angry? Is it moms’ mental health? Is it not having paid leave for moms? Is it the treatment of a certain group or culture of people? Whatever it is, I want you to really think on what matters to you and why it matters to you. And have a great day free of mommy guilt because you deserve it.

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