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257 – Why some moms and not others?

 Hey, it’s Tuesday, it may feel like a Monday. So I just wanted to remind you that it is Tuesday. And it is also the last day of May of Moms’ Mental Health Awareness Month. I’m going to bleed it into June a little bit because it ended midweek. And I like to keep the theme for the week. And one of the things that I find so interesting, and like crazy confusing about moms’ mental health, is that some moms get anxiety and depression and other mood disorders and others don’t. Some get it with one child and not with another. And so what is happening, like what is going on  that it isn’t this constant thing? You just you don’t know, if it’s gonna happen to you, you don’t know if it’s gonna happen with this child, or with that child, or if something else will bring it about. And Mama’s Daily Dose is… why some moms and not others?

Right after you have a baby, you go through this time of heightened sensitivities. So your hormones and your brain are all working so that you can take care of this small child. And that is meant to happen. And it is meant to have this emotional heightened anxiety, essentially, for a short period of time and it is meant to wean off. But what happens in some moms is that that heightened awareness never really goes away. And it can manifest into postpartum anxiety and depression. But why does it happen to some moms and not to others? 

And part of the answer lays in your past. If you have any past experiences and trauma, that can really affect you postpartum; any dysfunction or early childhood, adversities, PTSD, mental illness, genetic predispositions can cause you to stay in that heightened state postpartum. Which is meant to really help you in that early postpartum stage, but can hurt you later on. If you have any kind of past trauma or experiences, which we all do; trauma comes in all shapes and sizes, just because one person’s trauma is “more” or “worse” than yours doesn’t make your trauma not valid. And what happens is in motherhood, and especially that postpartum stage, a lot of these feelings from the past and experiences and anxieties can come up, and then they stay with you longer. 

And that’s one way how postpartum anxiety and depression can bleed, past that postpartum stage. How these feelings after postpartum, the high hormones the brain changes and everything that are supposed to help you can get hindered when our past starts coming in. Know that everyone has a past, and a lot of feelings and emotions are going to come up postpartum and when you’re a mom, and that is normal. So normalizing that it’s not “this was one part of my life” and “this is a new part of my life.” They all come together. And that is the reason why a lot of moms are not able to come out of that postpartum, heightened emotional stage. on

Mama, your action today is to realize that our lives are so intertwined. Just because you brought a new life into this world doesn’t mean that your life is completely anew. There are things from the past that we hold on to whether consciously or subconsciously, that can paint our present, as well as our future. And have a great day free of mama guilt because you deserve it.

Rather listen than read? Listen to the podcast here:

Mama’s Daily Dose

Meghan Q Barrett is Mom Success Coach and Connector who helps mamas create a life they love as “mom” AND an individual without the mom guilt. She connects mamas from all around the world so you can share your stories in a safe, supportive space.

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